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Added on : 15-Feb-2010 Added by : SLP/AUD Jokes Staff Viewed : 34 times
» Rotton Kids
A mother walked into her son's room and said cheerfully, "Up. Up. It's time to go to school." The son replied, "I don't want to go to school." "you have to go," the mother said. "I hate that school. The kids are mean and rooten." "you still have t ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Muinda Viewed : 1448 times
» Double Negatives
A lecture about English A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is n ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Cameron Viewed : 1185 times
» Improve your writing.
Tips to improve your writing 1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecess ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Cameron Viewed : 955 times
» Euro English
Europe English The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that Engl ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Kaili Viewed : 851 times
» English Poem
Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Kaili Viewed : 727 times
» The power of language
Creative wording BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery ...
Added on : 27-Nov-2009 Added by : Stephan Viewed : 914 times
» Tax Time
Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time? A: A dependent Claus. ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Kaili Viewed : 749 times
» Subordinate clause
Q: What do you call Santa's Helpers? A: Subordinate clauses! ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Kaili Viewed : 807 times
» E.T. went home
Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet? A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home. ...
Added on : 15-Mar-2005 Added by : Kaili Viewed : 693 times

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An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

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